The complexity of English Language. This is so hilarious you need to read this.

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A retired teacher of English once wrote: English is a tricky language
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. 
Sweet meats are candies while sweetbreads are actually meat and non sweet. 
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

 And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught?. If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? 
Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for been verbally insane. 

 You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all). 
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? 

Park on driveways and drive on pack ways? 
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites. How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? 
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when light are out, they are invisible. 
And why when I wind up my watch I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

       (Originally written by Richard Lederer)

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